How much proof is enough proof?

 When you decide to ask for help with a bully problem, you will most likely be asked for proof. But, how much proof is enough proof? The reality is that those that start off asking for proof will most likely never be satisfied with any proof you provide so it is important that you be prepared for this question.

 When an investigator or anyone in authority meets with you and asks you for proof respond with questions and not just answers. You should immediately ask questions to determine what type of person you are talking to. Do NOT assume that this person is an expert or even knowledgeable about bullying. This person may actually be an adult bully whose goal is simply to intimidate you in order to shut you up.

 If you are not the first person the investigator has spoken to, assume immediately that the investigator is either totally incompetent or is an adult bully and ask for someone else. Do not be afraid to stand up to the investigator, your child as well as your own life may depend on it.

 Ask what they are looking for to determine if they even know how to conduct a bully investigation.

 Ask them to describe their knowledge of bullying. They should be able to provide an accurate description of what bullying is and what needs to be done.

 Ask them how many bully investigations they have conducted or have been involved with.

 The bully investigator should be very knowledgeable and demonstrate compassion and sensitivity towards any potential victim. Improper actions on the part of an investigator can cause serious damage to the health of the victim and may even be the final straw that pushes the victim to suicide.

 Many parents looking for help with a bullied child found the following was NOT enough proof for authorities that are simply adult bullies pretending to help.

 
1. Eye witness accounts of events. The authorities called it our word against the bullies.

2. Pictures of the bullies as they stalked our child, the authorities stated they do not know under what circumstances the pictures were taken and dismissed them

3. Damaged cloths and personal property. Authorities stated that it couldn’t be proven that the damage was a result of bullying.

4. Pictures of adults as they took action to help bullying. Authorities asked if the adults were bullying the victim they said no and that was good enough for them.

5. An assault with witnesses seeing the attack. Authorities only interviewed the bullies and never talked to the witnesses or the victim and even though the victim was injured, stated that no attack had taken place.

In the end, investigators may state “for a bully complaint to be valid, the bullying must take place in the presence of the investigator so they can observe it”.

 The greatest effort the authorities will make will NOT be to stop bullying, but to stop the complaint by calling the events accidents not related to bullying or by saying the victim some how brought it on themselves and need to take some responsibility this will make the victim reluctant to ever come forward again.