Bully Investigations

Is it Real or FAKE?

 We would all like to think that an investigator looking into a bully complaint will be a professional who is very knowledgeable about bullying and only has the best interests of the victim at heart. Unfortunately reality tells a different story. Since most bullies are popular bullies, the investigator is more likely going to try to silence the victim rather than try to expose the bully. If the Popular bully has many friends and connections in the community, a fake investigation is used not only to silence the victim, but it is then used to threaten and intimidate the victim’s family. In order to understand and recognize a fake investigation, we must first understand what will happen in a real investigation. In Manitoba, every single child and family deserves a Real investigation. Whether the complaint is made in a school, to a municipal councilor, the police, RCMP, Manitoba child and family services or any other responsible governing body

 Real investigations – How do you know when someone is being bullied?

The most important effort that an investigator will do is to ‘TALK TO THE VICTIM FIRST!’ and possibly no one else. This is critically important and if not done, can have fatal consequences for the victim. Why is this so important? Without talking to the victim first, the investigator has no way of knowing who the bullies are, or who is supporting them. This may alert the bullies that a complaint was made and trigger a reprisal against the victim that could cost the victim their life. If the bully is a Popular Bully, many people will be backing the bully and help with the reprisal.

 Sometimes it can be difficult to determine when a child is being bullied. The child may be afraid to report what has happened or feel ashamed. To determine if bullying has occurred one must be aware of the symptoms of bullying and investigate any suspicious situations. When talking to a possible target it is important that the adult put the child and family at ease. Letting the child know you want to help and discussing the situation in a non-judgmental, non-blaming, normalizing manner will help the child share his/her experience. Once you have put the child at ease, let them talk. Children that are bullied may be reluctant to talk about their ordeal, but once they start to loosen up, they will talk and talk. It is important to let them get it out. Tears may flow and both the target and parents may become emotional due the frustration and the helpless feeling. When you first start discussing the bullying and ask the victim who the bullies are, the victim will frequently say “everyone”.  This of course isn’t true, but would indicate that the bullying has been going on for some time and that the bullies friends have joined in and the by-standers that see the bullies getting away with it start to side with the bully so they don’t end up targets. The important issue here is to determine who the ring leaders are, the ones who are at the center of the bullying and who you should target for corrective action.

 During the conversation, the investigator will be determining;

 Acknowledging that bullying is present is one thing. Detecting it is the hard part. Studies have shown that even when both the bully and victim are present and you are watching from a distance, you are unlikely to see the bullying. It is because of this that the bully investigator will ‘watch with different eyes’. The Bully investigator knows that emotions are running high and that both the victim and parents will be saying things they don’t really mean, but are just very frustrated.

 The Manitoba government’s own website clearly states that detecting bullying in a child can only be made by observing the child and looking for signs like the ones below

 Signs that your child is being bullied

Bruises and scrapes are easy to see. But there are other indications that a bully may be victimizing your child.

These include:

• Suffering from symptoms of depression, anxiety and loneliness
• Having low self-esteem
• Fear of going to school
• Crying before and after school
• Feeling sick
• Thinking about suicide
• Lack of interest in social events that include other students
• Unexplained broken personal possessions, loss of money or loss of personal items

 Once the meeting between the investigator, victim and parents is complete, the investigator will provide assurances that the bullies and any supporters will not find out about the complaint and that everything will be done to ensure their safety. Then, swift action will be taken to provide immediate relief. The investigator will contact the parents on a regular basis to check and make sure that things are getting better. The victim will be provided a contact person that they can talk to for both help and advice.

 Bullies will frequently have lots of supporters. Both adult and child bullies are only able to bully because those surrounding them either support them, or simply see nothing wrong with what they are doing. These individuals would become very angry if it became known that a complaint was filed against the bully and may even launch their own reprisal against the victim to prove to the bully that they are on their side and not on the victim’s side. It is because of this that the investigator must find ways to change the environment so that bullying becomes very difficult. Since most bullies want easy targets, the fear of detection would make them think twice.

 After a real investigation, an investigator will review the environment in which the bullying took place and make corrections to ensure that the opportunity to bully is taken away without ever alerting the bully that a complaint was made. The key here is to avoid making things worse by triggering a reprisal that makes the initial bullying seem like a walk in the park. In many communities around Canada and the United States, laws are being modified so that NOT being proactive to prevent bullying is becoming a criminal offense. 

If you have read the page Know Your Rights you will already know that the government of Manitoba guarantees by law, your anonymity and safety

 FAKE Investigations; How to cover up real problems.

A fake investigation may be conducted for many reasons, the investigator may be incompetent, may not even know what bullying is or what to look for, but the most common reason is to protect Popular Bullies. When the investigator discovers that the bully is a popular bully which is the case most of the time, they will usually take steps to simply silence the victim and family with absolutely no consideration for their health or safety.

 The one effort that separates a real investigation from a fake investigation is that the investigator will almost never talk to the victim and family or if they do, it will be done last and by someone else. When the fake investigation is started, the first person the investigator will approach is the bully or the bully’s supporters then they will talk to as many people that the bully recommends. This is done to give the illusion of trying to help the victim, while all along they are only trying to hurt the victim. The investigator will say they talked to many people and all confirmed that no bullying took place, it won’t be mentioned that the victim wasn’t spoken to or that any one the victim may have named was conveniently left out.

 The investigation will usually consist of simply asking the bullies and their supporters a few questions and assuming that everything they say is the truth. They will then pretend to care by making comments such as I arrived unexpected or I tried to observe bullying and couldn’t. Again, it won’t be mentioned that the victim wasn’t there when they tried to observe bullying. The investigator will be rude and threatening to the victim and family and demand large amounts of proof, of course no amount of proof is every enough for this person.

 It takes a very cold hearted person to conduct a fake investigation, because what they are really doing is kicking a bully victim that is already down. For some victims, a fake investigation can be the final humiliating straw that pushes them over the edge, which is why in many locations throughout Canada and the U.S., a fake investigation is illegal and the investigator can face charges of child endangerment if they try to conduct one.

There is another side to fake investigations, a sinister side that you may not have considered. There is the possibility that it never happened. The investigator for whatever reason may not have conducted an investigation, instead they may simply have phoned the bullies or perhaps just contacted a local person who was just too busy to conduct a proper investigation, but didn’t want to admit it. It is even possible that the local investigator may be friends with the bullies and simply informed them of the complaint and then made up the investigation to protect the bullies. If the investigator doesn’t involve the victim in the investigation it’s entirely possible that the whole thing was faked just to silence the victim. Remember, if the investigator asks for proof that the bullying actually took place, you have the right to ask for proof that the investigation actually took place. The word of a threatening investigator isn’t worth the paper it’s written on. Always assume that a lack of proof means no investigation.

According to Dan Olweus, a psychology professor at Norway's University of Bergen and one of the world's leading experts on bullies and their victims, who has been studying those characteristics for 30 years, much of what we have always believed about bullying is wrong. Bullies are not, the research indicates, cowardly misfits with low self-esteem. Their victims are rarely chosen because of the color of their hair or skin or the shape of their glasses. And, perhaps most importantly, bullying is not a problem that will go away without intervention -- consequently many of our techniques for investigating and dealing with bullies and their victims have simply made the problem worse.